We can never go back

3
Sep

It’s a Public Holiday. No School. My kids all home. I am Home. Domestic Helper is day off. Husband is travelling. Literally ON the plane for a few hours. And the extended Family is in a time zone where they are all asleep at this point….

No better time to be in a No-Phone-Zone for the morning ! I don’t have to keep it by my side the whole time for the incidental call from the nurse’s office or an appointment reminder or keeping tabs on the kids who need me or some favour, making sure I wont miss any emergencies or meetings or being available for whatever comes up. We are all set !

So I left it upstairs, went down to lie in bed with the kids – told them – NO bringing DEVICES into this zone now.

As if it was our little “Achievement” for the day. I was almost wanting to get an Award for the bravery to do that. To shove it in their face when those braggers who can do it, challenge the rest of us to do the same. To put down our phones and LIVE LIFE.

It felt good to be “that Mom” – who could put down the phone, leave it, not checking it, not getting distracted while the kids were talking. You know – that one that all these ads on facebook or youtube are designed for – to make us feel guilty for our attachment and slavery to our smartphones.

Yes – that one – who feels bad whenever that phone is attached to my body or never a few meters away  – for reasons which I felt were valid….but who all those people said were  just “excuses” for being absent, ignorant and a bad parent.

No one cares when you say you have to do it because everybody gets upset when you are unreachable or unresponsive. Even my little one has been brainwashed enough by the media to complain that my phone is always with me….and then complain if I dont respond on the spot when anybody tries to reach me. That is after all why my husband got me an Apple Watch – so my phone could be “on me” when I say – I’m not ignoring you – I just dont carry it around in the house !

Hours into this no phone fantasy of feeling good about myself for not missing my phone – with peace and calm…I went to take a bath. Put on a facemask. Lie back….

Not taking a selfie #metime #facemask #sillyface #relax …..

Child comes crashing into the bathroom…where ARE you.??!!! The helper sent a message that we must check our phones because somebody is trying to get hold of you and nobody is checking or responding to any of the text messages all morning. It just says – CHECK your imessages.

Seriously?! Who the heck….

Oh- it’s Daddy. Daddy ??? How…. he’s on a plane??

And then she hands me the phone – there he is. Face-timing me….yes, from up there – up in the air, thousands and thousands of miles away…. me ducking and diving to make sure the guy next to him does not see me in the bath, facemask and all?!! …. He’s asleep – don’t worry, my husband says and I peek back over the side of the tub.

Well…. I am done with feeling guilty about having …. or feeling good about not having, my phone.

Our phones are not evil. Stop blaming having your phone on your side all the time as taking away your peace. Stop feeling bad about being labelled a bad Mom for always having your phone on just in case…… Its just annoying to have all these strings attached to technology and to have to live with all these labels and generic guilt trips.

We can’t ever go back. Technology is here to stay. We should use it in a good way.

Don’t get me wrong – I am super, super concerned about cellphone use and its effects and social impact. We should not be addicted to it or slaves to it. And messages like this one – well, I totally get it and support the notion that it could be a serious illness if you don’t have your special guards up against it.

 

But dont feel like a winner when you can put it away for a few hours. It might just be the time where it means that having had the phone by my side would have caused less hassle (less stress?) for my husband, would have let the helper had her day in peace, not trying to be in the middle of it all…..in trying to connect us all.

The truth is. Our phones and devices are our connection nowadays. We just need to keep perspective on those ads.. And go guilt-free. We dont need one more thing to cause us stress – such as feeling bad for having your phone.

I will have my devices close by…..when I want to. Not putting it away because I feel like I HAVE to ….because that is what the guy in the video is asking me to do so that I can “connect” on a human level.

Instead – I am going to put it away when I WANT to.

We can never go back.

But we can go forward – maybe I should start wearing my Apple watch when taking a bath.

JUST KIDDING !!! I can hear you say – that’s ridiculous ??!?!!

And yes – who wants to be THAT person….. 😉

But the point is today – if you are a MOM, like me. Stop feeling guilty – have your phone if you need to. Put it down if you want to. You know your reasons. They don’t.

Our devices are here to stay. Same as criticising others for doing something – without having a clue what their reasons might be. It might be their only connection to their loved ones for all you know !!

Let’s just always keep perspective people !!

 

 

 

Ilze


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