Oscar Pistorius…. “I DID it” .. and is this what happened that night?
That must be what is going through Oscar Pistorius’s mind today.
He is either thinking – I DID it… ( kill her unintentionally but knowingly…. ), and I DID manage to pursuade the judge that I did not … (my story worked).
I DID it….(proof my innocence) because it was a pure, tragic accident…and I managed to get that message across without contradiction (the judicial system works).
Only Oscar knows. In the judge’s own words.
Because let’s face it – the rest of us still DON’T know….after this lengthy, costly trial.
Tons of people are not convinced.
And that is probably the saddest part of this whole verdict.
Legal issues aside – let us just assume that in LEGAL terms, the RIGHT verdict has been handed. I am talking here about PUBLIC VERDICT in trying to come to conclusion and closure myself to this matter that lied so close to South African’s hearts.
Those who believed he was guilty before this trial, still believes that…and blame the system for failing to point that out and those who believed he was innocent, feels justice has been served.
But nobody feels any kind of RESOLVE. Nobody feels as if the truth came out.
Even if it DID.
It still just remains Oscar’s version. And his fans believe in him and therefore his version. And those who don’t support him, don’t believe him and therefore reject his version.
Those who believe he should have been guilty, is angry at the judicial system.
Those who believe he is innocent, is angry that the verdict is not convincing the other side.
Why is that? Why are there so many thousands of people who believe that and feel that this has not brought any closure?
Let’s put your personal judgement aside for a moment… what you THINK has happened. Because, let’s face it… it does not seem as if the trial changed any of that for anybody out there…sadly.
And we take it that Oscar’s version is the real version. That means …. This is simply a case of ….
REEVA – being at the WRONG place , at the WRONG time.
And for Oscar – the tragic reality of having a GUN in an UNGUARDED moment.
This is one of the 2 points that I want to make from this post today. Having a gun in a moment where you can’t think straight, would have made all the difference in this situation. Doesn’t matter if he thought it was an intruder or whether he knew it was Reeva.
If he thought it was an intruder, and he did not have a gun at hand. He would have had to find alternatives – activate the panic button on the alarm, call the security, call 911, hide, go back to bed to discuss with Reeva what to do….
All this would have meant that by the time he took 5 minutes to look at alternatives, he would have saved her life as she would have walked out of the toilet – and besides the crowd whom he would have alerted by now, they all would have been happy, alive and well.
But no – he did not have time to think before he act, and the fact that he acted – a life changing (ending?) event – for him and her was the result.
But what if they DID have an argument and he also did not have a gun. See – this is where my personal opinion comes in on why people are so upset and wanted this version to be considered more than anything that happened.
I THINK….that this is a possibility of what may have happened that night – not pointed out by the State or the Judge:
I think they had a loving relationship.
I think he had some anger management issues.
But – you get good guys, great guys, who are in wonderful relationships – except for this one tiny bit of them that snaps when something triggers that little switch inside of them.
Reeva saw a tiny glimpse of this when he seemingly went off about something stupid in an earlier event. Her only voice for this is the whatsapp messages in which she hinted on this.
See – I don’t think that he ever before seriously lashed out at her.
I am convinced that he did not physically abuse her.
She is a smart girl and she would have left. She advocated for that.
But to his credit, I also think he is a good guy with not that dark of a side to him.
So – yes, the judge was absolutely correct in stating that they had a normal relationship. The State tried to proof otherwise.
I just think that a situation arose where he “snapped”.
On the spot, in the moment….even if they had the whole evening peacefully chit-chatting, laughing and loving moments. Something started it out of nowhere.
It got louder – something seemingly simple, got out of control as the argument went on.
She realized that she should remove herself from the situation to let him cool down.
She knew something might happen – the debate getting too heated to remain in it, but also deep down believed nothing would really, really happen – after all, Oscar is a good guy and famous on top of it all ……so, she did not alert anyone.
She was considerate. She wanted to handle it, protect his good name and let the situation resolve privately between the two of them.
A sort of typical ROAD RAGE incident. He was simply outraged at that stage.
She ran to the bathroom and locked herself in. Telling him to calm down while their fighting and yelling continued.
He got frustrated beyond his wits – and got his gun in an attempt to threaten her. NOT to kill her.
He loved her, he is intelligent and he knows better – even in this state.
The prosecutor failed to point this out. They said they had a tainted relationship. This is not the case. It is staggering how many “normal” relationships have this secret of verbal abuse when things heat up. Otherwise, seemingly and genuinely loving relationships.
He told her to get the F@*$ out …. Just as he described on the witness stand and she refused….wanting and waiting for him to calm down.
For him to be in this situation of all his power taken away, he armed himself to empower him and get the upper hand on her. He probably told her he is going to shoot down the lock to force her to come out. Not to shoot HER…just to use his gun to get what he wants…access to her that she was denying him. And to regain power over her in that situation.
Again – she is smart. She knew to stay put.
He shot at the door. Thinking/ Hoping she is standing/ sitting on the toilet and that his shot would open the door for him and force her out. Simply because he felt that his manhood was stripped from him by her “disobedience”. Yes – he did not mean to kill her. That part is also true – as the judge pointed out AND Oscar – on so many occasions.
She, however, curious to know what is going on while having this fight with him and trying to talk sense into him, stood RIGHT in front of the door at the time of shooting.
The MOMENT he realized what he had done… he snapped back into the reality of the situation. After all – everybody agreed – including the judge – that he was in a mental capacity at the time to take decisions.
He then acted again like the loving, caring Oscar who just threw his toddler tantrum, threw his toys out of the cot….. but since he is not a toddler, he immediately realized the mess and the mistake he made.
He scrambled around, he yelled frantically, he phoned immediately, he wanted her back – no argument, no pointless anger outburst would ever want him to see her dead or hurt. It was just a game, it was just a power struggle, it was just a moment in which he “lost” it. He has had this with previous girlfriends and it never turned out this way. He regained it…very soon , very quickly – so, yes judge – he did try to save her, he did try to resuscitate her, he did pray to God to save her – in fact…. I think even people who DON’t believe in God pray to God to help them when crisis hits !
Does this mean all of what I have described here did NOT happen. No, not at all.
It could still have very much happened. It just means that the MIDDLE part of this story does not make any sense when you hear the BEGINNING and the END parts of it.
And yet – It is all still part of a very common occurrence.
The ONE and ONLY difference to this situation vs other similar ones – is that most people usually don’t have a GUN to their side, in that moment of madness.
This is probably what has saved millions of lives.
To have a GUN in an UNGUARDED moment – means that you can do something that you never planned, or intended or would ever repeat if you had even just a minute to think about it.
If Oscar did not have a gun that day, he would have had to use other means to put his personal stamp down. And perhaps Reeva would have left him, but at least she would have had the choice.
I think he made a huge mistake, he regrets it with every bit inside of him. He is not a murderer and he did not want to kill her.
But, let’s face it – whether it was an intruder or Reeva – both would have been alive if there was no gun near in this moment of Human Judgement Error.
And I think THAT is why so many feel that justice has not been served. So many just simply wanted the truth to come out.
So many who feel that the above may have been what happened – feel that that option was not even considered – not by the State and not by the Judge.
So, women in verbal abuse situation feel cheated. They know this was a real option – this version of events that the State unpacked. But they also know that those guys never plan it and they are deeply sorry afterwards. Nobody ever gets in their car and go look for somebody to have a fit of Road Rage. No – they go on an ordinary shopping trip and somebody take their parking and their whole situation explode with consequences they never foresee or feel good about.
I still feel that there is the flip side that Oscar is telling the truth and the absolute truth. And for that – I think the judge is correct. It was not proven beyond reasonable doubt that his version is not true. And therefore you can not let your feeling and emotion dictate otherwise.
I feel that there was a JUDICIAL verdict – correctly and there is a PERSONAL verdict – that each person has made up irrespective of what the judge said. And we should not get those two mixed up.
He must have the benefit of the doubt, if there is even the slightest bit of doubt. And who here can say that they can absolutely rule that out. Nobody.
But to say that women’s advocates are outraged and highly frustrated that the story did not come out, IF it was the story, is very understandable. Because all they want to do is to END this, before somebody else pays the price.
The sad reality of verbal abuse and these incidents of rage, is that only the two people involved usually know what exactly happened and how…. and in this case it has come down to not only those two – but only one. And that is Oscar Pistorius.
With everything in me, I hope that the real story came out. This would give him peace and public opinion would die down.
If it was not, I wish that he would get himself to the point where he would stand up to all those men who has this trigger and tell them – that it is serious, it is deadly and it is not worth it. Get help. Get Advice.
As a South African I have been asked numerous times now what my opinion is on the Oscar Pistorius is. And too many dinner conversations had led me to believe that many, many people feel that the above situation is what happened.
….yes, just another Ordinary Person’s OPinion on Oscar Pistorius’ situation that night….. a possibility !
So – I know that I will be asked in the next coming weeks, what my opinion is on the Oscar Pistorius verdict.
To all those – I will direct you to this blog post. I can not repeat my mind that many times. I say it here and this is my view of it. Purely my view.
If you agree this is what happened or COULD have happened, share this story and maybe those who wanted this side of the story to be considered i.e woman in verbal abusive relationships and persons against guns in households, would feel like they are a little bit closer to closure after reading this.Ilze