I wish ……

30
Apr

….that this time my exercise routine would stick….
I started Monday with my friends…..
I got my trainers out  – they are fun and they are bright……
and should not be in the cupboard
 and I love the way you don’t even feel them while walking the woods next to our neighborhood …
…but oh my…..
is it easy to loose focus and slip back into old routines of too much time in front of the computer and the reality of too little exercise???

But hey, bloggers are not guilty of this – are they???…….
Would love to hear of anyone who has ever had THIS particular problem??!!

My idea is this time to not fall back after a few days …but to THIS time really see it through untill I reap the rewards… I NEED to – not only for my own health ….but I owe it to my kids – to be a happy, healthy mom.

I WISH……

…..for more time with my oldest daughter…
I don’t want her to become a statistic – the neglected MIDDLE CHILD

Having her room one floor above the rest of the bedrooms means that there are often times days gone by without anyone going into her room…

I lied awake the night before, thinking how I miss being with her and that one day I will realize that I did not spend enough time with her – and how that would be too late….

She deserves more and she is gonna get more !!

She is DARLING, she is FUN, she is BEAUTIFUL and she is most of all MINE !!!

Taking action the next evening, I decided to go up in her room and kiss her goodnight –
just like I used to go every night when she was younger –
before she became so independent and self-organised.

I was shocked when I realised that I had not been into her room for a while now….
She always comes to us – we hardly go to her

…sad to see that she had already fallen asleep, I was still glad that I went……

I saw a notebook lying on her desk – and how ironic when I opened it and on the first page it said (written some months ago already) :

” I wish I had more time with my mom…”

That made me SAD….
– sad for the time lost already
– sad for a thought expressed by my daugther which means there is an empty space somewhere…
despite all the time we DO spend together
– an empty space created by the busy-ness of our lives…..

but also GLAD…
– glad that I felt the same way before I read her little notebook….
and glad that I realised it today and not one day when it is too late to go back and make up for it…

Life is demanding and an oldest and a youngest have high demands…

A MIDDLE CHILD desires the same…but accepts more
ask the same…but doesn’t always get the same

I had this IDEA of one day being my daughter’s best friend……
REALITY is that there is never enough time to do all the things we want to do..
REALITY is that I often make excuses of things that need to take priority over her requests of time with me…
REALITY is that we all make mistakes and that it is overwhelming to juggle all the balls in the air at the same time
REALITY is that we do have a LOT of family time and it is still not enough….
and even the IDEA me and her had a few years ago to start a “Girlie Club”has given way to the REALITY that we never find the time to do all the things we had put on the list….
REALITY is that I do not want it to be this way, but it is…

THIS WAS NOT MY IDEA…..

She is so understanding
But she is craving time with me…
…and I do too…

it is FINDING the TIME…..

 but I am the one who has the power in hand to prioritize, to make time and to build the relationship as much as I can while I can!

I wish for more time in a day…
I am sure we all do…

but MY IDEA is to try and focus on more time with her..
she absolutely THRIVES when I do that

There could be nothing more rewarding than the feeling that you have had the best of times with your loved ones while you had them around
And nothing more regrettable than the feeling that you did not have enough time with your loved ones while you had them around

I am wondering if there are mothers out there who have had those experiences……

I wish to stick to my exercise routine…but MUCH MUCH more than that…
I wish for more time with my daughter

I WISH for this to happen

I HOPE it will…

I am going to try to make this wish come true !

Ilze


Would love to hear from you.....

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